那些生活的某個層面

1．

讀書的時候, 老師教我們要懂得愛. 長大了以後, 我很懂得怎樣愛. 可是老師沒有教過我們怎樣不愛, 因此我一直不懂得如何不愛.

2.

很長的一段時間, 你一直跟我靠得很近. 近得一不小心我就以為我們是同一個人. 後來, 你忽然走得遠遠的. 而我一直覺得自己不再完整. 我一下子就不完整了5年.

3.

兩個月一下子就過去了. 昨天晚上睡覺翻身的時候, 我睡上了你之前睡覺的位置. 發現原來那裡是吹不到風的. 而我, 還自以為是的每天晚上幫你蓋上被子.

4.

我跟蝙蝠俠剛認識的時候, 我14歲, 他25歲. 那時候他大喊: “代溝!!”

再見蝙蝠俠, 我32歲, 他43歲. 我們聊得很愉快, 而身旁還站著一群19歲的學生.

5.

以前一旦經歷了任何事情, 好事壞事, 好玩的生氣的, 有趣的無聊的, 我就會想要跟你分享. 現在, 不管遭遇了什麼事情, 我都不敢讓你知道. 生活就這樣忽然無趣了起來.

6.

我從來沒有想過自己30歲或30以後的樣子. 我是怎樣活著的, 我在做些什麼等等的問題. 我做的所有事情好像都是為了30以前而做的.

結果, 我忽然就32歲了. 因為那樣, 我變得像個笨挫的孩子.

7.

敲杯喝酒的時候, 好朋友忽然說 “今生無悔”, 然後一口把就喝完. 我忽然變得猶豫.

後來, 我還是一口把酒喝完. 至少, 擁有這樣的一個好朋友, 還是今生無悔的.

8.

當我對於自己過往所做過的事情說得越多的時候, 我就會發現, 過去離我越來越遠.

9.

過去幾天, 我為了其他人而生活著, 為了其他人的事情在張羅著. 在那之前的兩個月, 我為了你而生活著. 在兩個月之前的所有日子, 我還是沒有為了自己而生活著.

10.

為了自己的事情而忽略了好朋友S的健康狀況. 我是有多久沒有想起這件事情了?

11.

未完成

Anonymous

An adaption from an anonymous blog.

"I never wanted to be in a relationship but I've had the chance to experience the world as a person in love. It may not have been your typical loving relationship but it had all the same inner workings of one, including promises of forever, beautiful dreams, and the inability to function without one another. There is so much love between us but yet it's not enough to keep us together. I can't give him what he wants and he can't give me what I need. It took some fightings, a handful of insults, and a ton of heart ache for us to finally accept our defeat but the war is over. The smoke has cleared. There is no victory. Both sides have lost.

Yesterday was our goodbye. As he was leaving I told him that I would always love him. I told him that I want to remember the good times and forget about the bad. I told him to keep in touch and that I'd like to be friends. He wanted to say something back, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. Tears began rolling down his face and we both knew if he stood around any longer he would of ended up staying. So he simply kissed me on the cheek, took what's left of my heart, and left. "

記事

就說說我最近的生活吧.

1. 他已經離我越來越遠了.

2. H也已經走了, 把我留在一個陌生的地方.

3. 我離開了現在的工作崗位, 正在安排新工作的途中.

4. 我因為不想回家所以胡亂的做著一些沒有實際意義的事情, 就像現在一樣.

5. 我已經連續兩個月的禮拜五和禮拜六都喝得很醉, 然後不想回家. 謝謝著兩個月來請我喝酒的朋友.

6. 我了解到自己的表面和內在原來可以被切割成兩個獨立的個體.

7. 我看了幾本好書.

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還沒寫完忽然接到好朋友傑克從台灣打來的電話. 就這樣, 我又變得不一樣了.